10 Reasons Colorado is Better than Louisiana

Sorry bayous, mountains are better.

1. Maxwell Falls, Arapaho National Forest

Things I Wish I Knew Before I Moved to Denver

Moving somewhere new is both exciting and soul-crushing. Since I know for a fact that about 3 billion more people will move to the Greater Denver Area in the next year, I've compiled a list of things I wish I'd known before I made the 109-hour journey.

Colorado: probably worth it. But please don't move here, we don't need housing prices driven up any further.

Jorbs

Well, so much for posting daily. Or posting every Monday-Wendnesday-Friday. After a few months of having no jobs, no money, and plenty of free time, I now have plenty of jobs, slightly more money, and no free time. By "plenty of jobs," I mean three jobs, by "slightly more money" I mean three low-paid part-time jobs, and by "no free time" I mean I have been working every weekday, evening, and weekend. The five-day work-week is for chumps!

I want a zero-day work-week, like this little asshole.

So that explains the radio silence (for all my millions of adoring readers).  But don't worry, I still want to keep you updated about Aurora awesomeness, Denver discoveries, and food fabulousness. I promise to only alliterate occasionally. One of the jobs is temporary and ends November 3rd (does that give you a hint about what sector the job is in?), so after that I'll have more time to post, and I'll give you a juicy exposé about what I learned in that line of work.

Coming soon: cast iron magic, libraries, and apartment complex nonsense!

Technical Difficulties

Today is Yom Kippur, so I don't really want to work on one of the many food-related posts currently sitting in my "drafts" folder.

Also, I no longer have WiFi in my apartment, so I have to blog from my phone using data. But never fear, my many thousands of readers (ha): this day of fasting will end, and I'll get some internet service or drag my ass to a coffee shop for some WiFi. Until then, go read a book or something. Girlfriend is trying to read The Historian and she says it's not very good, but other people seem to like it, so you should check it out and let me know what you think.

See ya on the other side of some bagels!

Things to Do in Denver: Bike Depot

The Denver area is a great place to bike. The weather is great, the drivers are generally not assholes, and despite the epic mountains in the distance, the city itself is relatively flat.

But what do you do if you don't have a bike, or you got a used bike on Craiglist that maybe doesn't actually stop when you apply the brakes? (It turns out those things are pretty important to your safety). Sure, you could go to a bike shop and pay $75 or more for a tune-up...or, you could check out the epicly awesome Bike Depot, where they will help you fix your own bike for free! They also sell fixed-up bikes and bikes you can fix yourself, and there's even a program where you can get a free bike after volunteering and learning basic bike maintenance.

All you have to pay for are the parts, many of which are available used for a discount. And then the giant milkshake you buy to celebrate your bike-fixing accomplishments (is that just me?)

Investigative Reporting! GarbageGate

I’m SUPER excited to tell you that I did a bit of amateur sleuthing and caught my apartment complex in a lie. Partly this is exciting because my apartment complex is terrible and I’m psyched to have some dirt on them….and partly I’m elated to be one step closer to my idols: Starlee Kine of Mystery Show, Veronica Mars, and of course Harriet the Spy.

A dumpster full of trash. And lies. ....also flies.

Yum at Home: Banana Oatmeal Pancakes

...with peach sauce, if you want. And why wouldn't you want peach sauce?

What kind of monster is anti-peach?

These are easy, healthy, tasty pancakes you can throw together in a few minutes. My new favorite breakfast!

Aurora Eats: Star of India

We love Indian food. It's more than love, it's really an obsession. Girlfriend and I used to go to a mediocre Indian restaurant in New Orleans because it was the only one in town, and we even learned how to make naan (the flatbread), saag (the creamy spinachy goodness), and paneer (the fresh cheese) at home. So when we moved to Aurora and saw the vast array of Indian restaurants, we were beyond excited.

But which one to go to? There's Taj, Taz, India's Cuisine, Star of India, Masalaa...and that's just in Aurora; if you included the rest of the Denver area you could probably go to a different one every night for a month. I realized we had to starts somewhere, so I looked at online reviews and picked Star of India. Now we might not try any others because it's SO GOOD and we have to go back for the buffet.

Paneer pakora = fried cheese = heaven. And don't forget the dipping sauces!

Questionable Marketing Decisions

Sometimes the marketing department makes a genius brand decision that makes you want to jump up and try the product. Like those Coke cans that say your name or your friend's name on them, and you're like "OMIGOD share a coke with Allison, that's MY name! I have to get this can ahhhhhhh!"

Sometimes, though, whoever's coming up with names and packaging is just phoning it right the hell in, or maybe intentionally trying to fuck with us, and you get these questionable choices:

1. Creme Betweens

Uh...do I need to point out why this is gross and weird? Creme Betweens do not make me think of something I want to put in my mouth, they make me think of that scene in Van Wilder (warning: do not watch if you ever want to enjoy a creme puff again). But hey, maybe the typical consumer wants to be double filled with some creme betweens....I don't know your life!

Yum at Home: Lemon What??

Do you like to cook? Do you like to eat? Do you like to look at pictures of food and think about maybe making it sometime (but never actually make it)? Well, thens Yum at Home is for you. Relatively easy recipes, made from inexpensive ingredients, that are super delicious and sometimes healthy (but not always, because that would be boring).

I have some other great recipes on my old cooking blog, Failure Potatoes, so you should check that out too!

Today: let's make lemon curd!

This doesn't look like much but it's a jar of delicious. I promise.

Parks and Recreation Nation: State Forest State Park

For our second Colorado camping trip, we picked the somewhat redundantly-named State Forest State Park. More accurately, Girlfriend picked the park, probably because it was A) far far away from civilization, B) in the mountains, and C) included a body of water to appease me and my preferences. Exciting news: we are moving to a tiny town in the Rocky Mountains! Just kidding, but Girlfriend totally wants to, and after seeing this place a tiny piece of me wants to as well.

My girlfriend's idea of paradise, and my idea of maybe dying alone in a forest.

A much bigger piece of me is terrified of being so far from civilization that you can go for 40 miles without seeing a gas station (we only came a leeeeetle bit close to being stuck in the wilderness with an empty tank. But more on that later). Coming up: cooking adventures and MOOSE!

Parks and Recreation Nation: Lake Pueblo State Park

Girlfriend's brother came to visit and we all went CAMPING!!! in Lake Pueblo State Park. This is actually the first time I've been camping since my Freshman Trip with Dartmouth (in 2005), so I was pretty excited. Lake Pueblo did not disappoint.

Yay, I remembered how to put up a tent! And then take it down again, because it started to rain. And then put it back up again. Yay camping!

Things to Do In Aurora: 3. High Line Canal Trail

When we first moved to Aurora I was a little cranky about being surrounded by suburbia and chain stores. This must be Middle America, I thought. This is where culture goes to die. But then I stopped being pretentious and found some cool shit to do.

Here's something cool I do pretty much every day: take a walk on the High Line Canal Trail. You can't really hate a town that has a well-maintained, convenient, and beautiful path for walking and biking.

Okay, no, you can still hate it. The cat clearly does. Look at those angry ears!

Parks and Recreation Nation: Cherry Creek State Park

Check out Cherry Creek State Park, our first Colorado State Park! You don't even have to leave Denver to get there.

My intrepid girlfriend leads the way on our Cherry Creek nature walk. What will she encounter? Read on to find out what Cherry Creek discovery made my girlfriend jump out of her skin...

Things to Do in Aurora: 2. Mexican Popsicles

One day, the girlfriend and I decided to bike down to Del Mar Park. The park is inside Del Mar Circle, a geographic feature smack in the middle of Aurora that always gets me completely turned around just when I think I've figured out the area. It's a gorgeous park, though, with big grassy areas, a fantastic playground, and a huge pool with a giant waterslide that I think might be just for kids (but I really want to go on it anyway).

Glorious summer paradise! And probably only a little bit of pee.

Parks and Recreation Nation: Red Rocks

Welcome to a new series, Parks and Recreation Nation! Because Leslie Knope is my hero, public parks are awesome, and Colorado has about 5 billion of them.

City Parks. State Parks. National Parks. Mountain Parks (whatever that is). Colorado's got 'em all! As a new Coloradoan (Coloradoite? Coloradian?), I fully intend to visit as many parks as possible. And as a blogger, I fully intend to share with you (whether you like it or not!) the adventures, mistakes, and animal poop I encounter along the way.

First up: Red Rocks.

How to Teach Yourself Spanish

Speaking Spanish will make you valuable to employers (I know this because I'm looking for a job in Colorado and about half of the postings say things like "Spanish speaker preferred").  It will also give you bilingual street cred so people from other countries won't look down on you for only speaking English (though they probably speak at least 4 languages, so you'll still be way behind). Most of us didn't learn much in the pathetic mess that passes for language classes in American high schools, so follow my foolproof method to Lifehack the shit out of language education and teach yourself Spanish!

Things to Do In Aurora: 1. Prairie-Dog Watching

While Aurora is no cultural center like New Orleans or even Denver, it is hardly the suburban wasteland many seem to think it is. Sure, it's mostly strip malls, big-box stores, Chipotle's, apartment complexes, and sadness, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to do. So without further ado I present the first installment in the ongoing series, Things to Do in Aurora: Prairie-Dog Watching.

This is not a euphemism. I actually mean watching prairie dogs.

These guys. And no, I didn't take this picture, they wouldn't let me get this close.

Moving Cross-Country With a Cat: A Cautionary Tale

(Alternate title, credited to my girlfriend: "A Tale of Two Kitties: pre- and post-traumatic stress disorder")

This is Catniss. Let's find out what happens when we try to move Catniss from New Orleans to Colorado.

Here she is, pretending to be pizza. Slightly disdainful pizza, for some reason.

On Turning 28

Today is my birthday and I should be excited about that. Childhood birthdays are an excuse to eat cake and ice cream until you collapse into a sugar coma, and college birthdays are an excuse to drink until you vomit. But my birthdays since earning a bachelor's degree (in the exciting field of who-gives-a-shit-cause-it-won't-get-me-a-job) seem like opportunities for taking stock of my life so far.

Yum, a big ol' slice of my impending mortality!

Sarah Who?

Welcome to Sarah Borealis! Sarah is me and the Borealis is because I just moved to Aurora, CO, so...Aurora Borealis!

"Aurora" makes me think of the Northern Lights. What, my new town's name has other associations for you?

Anyway, this blog is going to be about me exploring the Denver area and getting into various hijinks like: going to a (legal) pot shop for the first time! trying to find a lesbian bar! trying to get a job! teaching myself Spanish! eating on a budget!

Enjoy, dear reader. I know you're on the edge of your seat.